Since this is the first day of my blog I'll give you a little history of myself. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II only a few years ago but some of you may relate - I've been feeling like something was wrong for a very long time... actually, most of my life.
Some say Bipolar II is a less severe form of Bipolar but it isn't LESS SEVERE when you experience it! The part that makes it so difficult for me is my lows (or depression) are so low, I can't crawl out of them most of the time - like the last few weeks.
I can't watch TV because it's so depressing. I'm fearfull of everything and everyone. I live in a WHAT IF MODE. What if I leave the gate open and the dogs get out; What if I get hit by a car; What if I start to drive somewhere and won't be able to make it home. It's simply terrible and so I stay home and think of the WHAT IF'S THAT MIGHT HAPPEN HERE.
Sleeping when I'm in this mood is in excess, usually 16 to 10 hours at a time or even more then everyone wants to know what's wrong and I have to try to put on a happy face and cover it up because if they only knew the terrior I feel inside of me each and every day.
If someone reads this and want's to share how they feel... do so, maybe we have more in common than you think?
J
Saturday, July 11, 2009
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